Two years back, we decided, fuck europe, lets have the next do on home soil, it had been 15 years since i had set foot in Blackpool, so off we set, 52 mixed domination of football fans. Anyhow, arriving in Cold Vegas, we threw our bags into the recently woodchipped rooms and hit the strip, first port of call, the Globe, a swift one then into the Tower Lounge, we took over a large corner near the dance floor as you do on a friday lunch time! anyhow, we are in one big round when I realise that after 2 hours Im not getting in the swing as quickly as all the others, I nip to the bar for a double Vodka, this bird from Barnsley says "hello, where you from etc," she had a deep gravel voice, a bit like that old bint that used to be on Corrie? However, a minger in laymen's terms, we agreed to have a dance later (as if) anyhow, I thought no more about it and made my way back to my well on the way drunken mates.
Eight ish we ended up in the flag ship pub, plenty of drunken minge to be found, a good time was being had by all apart from my room mate who had fucked off back to the room in a drunken stuper. cant remember the time but all of a sudden I gets this Vice like grip on my arse, on turning round I found it to be old gravel voice from the afternoon, by now she was looking like Kylie, (blame the stellla) anyhow, we had a dance or two trying to squeeze juice out of each others arse. I asked old gravel voice if she had a room on her own, no, she says, her sister is in her room, "what about you" she says in her sexy Arthur Mullard voice," are you sharing?" I am but he's in a coma" I says.
After a few more drinks and dancing, me and Arthur made it back to the digs, we creeped into the room, she stripped off and laid on my bed face down, I kept whispering in her ear, "keep your voice down, we dont want to wake my mate". all the time I had been stroking her back she was mumbling away in her deep gravel voice, this would have been a big turn off had I not been pissed, anyhow, I was running my tongue up and down her spine when she says out loud, "roll me over and lick my cunt" with this, a cry from the other side of the pitch black room go's" Thank fuck for that, for a minute, I thought you'd brought a fella back! I screamed with laughter, the bird switched the lamp on to see us both pissing ourselves, she grabbed her kit and fucked off calling us all sorts!!! anyhow, a fuck went out of the window but we still have a good laugh about it!