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CLASSIC: how do you hit someone properly?

J

john.m20

Guest
some guy has been spreading rumours about me and my neighbours daughter, and ive decided enough is enough.
words dont have any affect with this type of person, so giving him a bit of violence is the plan.
but, as you might have noticed, im not really a violent man.
im going to the pub tonight because its quiz night, and i know hell be there the bloody barfly.
he usually sits on a stool by the bar, chatting up the barmaids. plan is to wait til ive finished the quiz, walk past him, then punch him from behind and knock him off the stool. maybe stamp on him a few times when hes down, then run.
i know its a bit of a cowardly attack, but hes a big chap and would probably have me in a normal fight.
so where do i hit him to make sure he goes down? is anywhere in the general skull area ok?
im not a powerful guy, but if i just wind my arm back and swing like im playing golf, it should do the job yes?
ta for any tips lads. really want to teach this bigmouth a lesson.
 
Steam in with the windmills.
 
john.m20 said:
some guy has been spreading rumours about me and my neighbours daughter, and ive decided enough is enough.
words dont have any affect with this type of person, so giving him a bit of violence is the plan.
but, as you might have noticed, im not really a violent man.
im going to the pub tonight because its quiz night, and i know hell be there the bloody barfly.
he usually sits on a stool by the bar, chatting up the barmaids. plan is to wait til ive finished the quiz, walk past him, then punch him from behind and knock him off the stool. maybe stamp on him a few times when hes down, then run.
i know its a bit of a cowardly attack, but hes a big chap and would probably have me in a normal fight.
so where do i hit him to make sure he goes down? is anywhere in the general skull area ok?
im not a powerful guy, but if i just wind my arm back and swing like im playing golf, it should do the job yes?
ta for any tips lads. really want to teach this bigmouth a lesson.
Click to expand...

Would have been good if it hadn't come the day after the babestation wu..
 
five simple letters will help


K



H



I



T




C



:D
 
try pinching, scratching and hair pulling.

If its going to be a cowardly attack just knife him.
 
put everything you have into your handbag and swing it as hard as you can, that will teach him
 
i dont want to kill him.
i thought about hitting him with a bottle, but couldnt this go wrong and id end up with a gash in my hand?
my blood doesnt clot easily, so id rather not take the risk.
 
Are you a haemophiliac?
 
hit him with your car
 
You have a big advantage if he's sat at the bar, wrap your belt around his neck and fall backwards with all your weight, his hands will come up to his neck, you then punch the fella in the bollocks, this will give you time to say a few words before you boot him in the face.if this fails, try a chinese burn.
 
Hit him in the back of the head with a hammer.
 
bitchslap him then pull his hair and run off screaming
 
john.m20 said:
some guy has been spreading rumours about me and my neighbours daughter, and ive decided enough is enough.
words dont have any affect with this type of person, so giving him a bit of violence is the plan.
but, as you might have noticed, im not really a violent man.
im going to the pub tonight because its quiz night, and i know hell be there the bloody barfly.
he usually sits on a stool by the bar, chatting up the barmaids. plan is to wait til ive finished the quiz, walk past him, then punch him from behind and knock him off the stool. maybe stamp on him a few times when hes down, then run.
i know its a bit of a cowardly attack, but hes a big chap and would probably have me in a normal fight.
so where do i hit him to make sure he goes down? is anywhere in the general skull area ok?
im not a powerful guy, but if i just wind my arm back and swing like im playing golf, it should do the job yes?
ta for any tips lads. really want to teach this bigmouth a lesson.
Click to expand...
Go for the kidneys man! Stick the knuckle of your middle finger out like in the picture as well. That'll wind him!
http://www.kenpo.de/images/training/waffen/koerper/middle_finger_fist.jpg
 
get a big run-up and butt him on the nose, then leg it.
 
Just imagine you're giving someone the V-sign with your right hand. Place the tip of your middle finger on the point of your chin. Your index finger will automatically be on the "sweetspot" for a KO. Catch someone there and 90% of the time, if not more, they're going down - especially if they're not expecting it. If they don't go down then it's very likely they'll be stunned, which will either give you time to do some serious damage - eyes, throat, balls, knees - or run like fuck.
 
shadow boxing, i remember that :D
 
Red Tinted Specs said:
Fucker , beat me to it !! :D :D

Shadow boxing is the way forward john.
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me too, i was scrolling down to the bottom of page 2 thinking i cant beleive no ones suggested shadow boxing yet - and there it was :D :D
 
tap him on the left shoulder then, as he lookes over it to see who it is, send his head back the way it came with a full blooded right cross remembering to follow through, not like a jab. Wont look as cowardly and because of the way it happend your punch will carry more weight and he wont know what the fuck just happend. Lean over himKeano styly and tell him you'll finish the job next time if the lies persist.

;)
 
Just give him the evils mate, i do it and it scares the shit out of people.

How do people on here punch? With a massive swinging fist, or a straight boxing strike to the face?
 
My dag has von Wellinbrands(sp) deficiency.

Eat some liver, rest up a bit, don't get any bruises during the quiz. Offer him outside then smack him.

If you think sucker punching is the way ahead, then you'll probably need a blood transfusion the next time you meet him.
 
Linus Van Pelt said:
Just imagine you're giving someone the V-sign with your right hand. Place the tip of your middle finger on the point of your chin. Your index finger will automatically be on the "sweetspot" for a KO. Catch someone there and 90% of the time, if not more, they're going down - especially if they're not expecting it. If they don't go down then it's very likely they'll be stunned, which will either give you time to do some serious damage - eyes, throat, balls, knees - or run like fuck.
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nice one mate, thats the kind of advice i was after.
 
this has to be one of the funniest threads ive seen on here for a while. :D

'Is anywhere in the general skull area ok'

'i plan to hit him, stamp on him and run away!' :D

I can't help but think of a Homer simpson sketch....

Any money you hit him, he just stands up un affected and knocks fuck out of yer.
 
M45RED said:
tap him on the left shoulder then, as he lookes over it to see who it is, send his head back the way it came with a full blooded right cross remembering to follow through, not like a jab. Wont look as cowardly and because of the way it happend your punch will carry more weight and he wont know what the fuck just happend. Lean over himKeano styly and tell him you'll finish the job next time if the lies persist.

;)
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nice one, another top tip. im imagining how this going to go down, and i feel like bloody myke tyson sat here :D
 
let him punch you till he gets tired then you can just push him over

Homer simpson did it and was a class boxer doing that :D
 
MazzymoMazz said:
Just give him the evils mate, i do it and it scares the shit out of people.
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i cant stare people out mate. i wear strong glasses, and my eyes look very small through them. i doubt anyone would be intimidated, theyd probably start laughing :o
 
Sit next to him at the bar, buy a pint and when he looks your way say angrily
" What the fuck yer looking at " before smashing a barstool over his head.
 
clothes line him and then do a half Nelson. If the andrelain is pumping try a cork screw..........you will get the strength from somewhere
 
Prideofalleurope said:
Sit next to him at the bar, buy a pint and when he looks your way say angrily
" What the fuck yer looking at " before smashing a barstool over his head.
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If you want me to sort it out for you ill do it, but ill require a fee, plus expenses for Pyro, costume, use of copyrighted music as theme tune upon entry to the said pub etc.
 
John bring Gatley reds with you, he seems a bit of a toughie
 
id wind him up

Id go in the bar stand next to him, go in there with someone you know get chatting to them, and when the "what you up to later line" comes out just say

"oh im taking my next door neighbour out"

I guarantee hed spit his drink out all over the bar in embarrasment
 
when he stands up move his barstool,he falls, then smash him over the head with it,stamp on him and then pour petrol over the fucker and set him on fire.Run and get a fire extinguisher and smash him in the mouth with it.whilst doing this scream don't fuck with me you twat.:mad: :mad: :mad:
works a treat everytime and nobody will fuck with you after you get out
 
this has got to be WUM.

'I can't stare people out mate. I wear strong glasses, and my eyes look very small through them!' :D :D

Now im getting visions of craig david off Bo selecta.
 
LeeMUFC4Life said:
id wind him up

Id go in the bar stand next to him, go in there with someone you know get chatting to them, and when the "what you up to later line" comes out just say

"oh im taking my next door neighbour out"

I guarantee hed spit his drink out all over the bar in embarrasment
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my next door neighbour is an 80-year old widow.
hed probably spit his drink out, doubt it would be in embarassment though.
 
John love thy neighbour
 
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