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CLASSIC: i want to execute a tropical fish

J

john.m20

Guest
is it legal?
i've had it up to here with him, hes ruining my tank.
he thinks hes the big dag and just generally mucks around in there, digging in the gravel and stuff.
hes also very vicious. he killed a small plec i put in a few weeks ago, and im sure hes been eating some of the other fishes eggs.
the worst thing though, is that when i go to feed them or clean the tanbk, he comes right up to the glass and tries to stare me out!
hes got a right mean look. i know its stupid, but it unsettles me.
i feel daft getting intimidated by a fish thats a couple of inches long!!

so ive decided, im going to teach the fucker a lesson.
but just trying to make sure, i cant get done for animal cruelty or anything if i kill him, can i?
its only a little fish after all, not a dag or anything.
 
Just flush him down the toilet.
 
john.m20 said:
is it legal?
i've had it up to here with him, hes ruining my tank.
he thinks hes the big dag and just generally mucks around in there, digging in the gravel and stuff.
hes also very vicious. he killed a small plec i put in a few weeks ago, and im sure hes been eating some of the other fishes eggs.
the worst thing though, is that when i go to feed them or clean the tanbk, he comes right up to the glass and tries to stare me out!
hes got a right mean look. i know its stupid, but it unsettles me.
i feel daft getting intimidated by a fish thats a couple of inches long!!

so ive decided, im going to teach the fucker a lesson.
but just trying to make sure, i cant get done for animal cruelty or anything if i kill him, can i?
its only a little fish after all, not a dag or anything.
Click to expand...

:D :D Like it!!

Throw it in the canal, job done!!
 
i'd worry more about the drugs you're doing.

paranoid of a fish??!!
 
Batter it
serve with chips and a nice tartare sauce
 
the safety officer said:
i'd worry more about the drugs you're doing.

paranoid of a fish??!!
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im not really paranoid of him mate, but ive got the big chair right near the tank, and its just a bit weird sitting there watching tv while this fucker has got his face against the glass staring at me.
i used to bang the tank (lightly) with a hammer to scare him off, but hes not even scared of that any more :confused:
 
WilliesHair said:
good to see the world of john.m20 is as eventful as ever.

Have you thought about hanging him and filming it on your mobile?
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arf!
im not quite sure about the method actually. there's a few choices floating around.
one of my mates said popping him in the microwave would get the job done, a bit like the electric chair for fish.
i had the idea of just letting him suffocate on a plate in front of the tank, so the other fish could see. just to show them what would happen if they start getting cocky too like :D
 
i know he hasnt hurt me, yet. but hes hurt other fish.
i look on my tank as my own little creation. i am their god. i provide food, light and warmth.
if this little wanker of a fish is gonna mess about in my house, he will be punished.
i could buy a seperate, smaller, colder and less well-areated tank i suppose, and use it as a kind of jail. put him in solitary for a few days to teach him a lesson.

but thats a lot of hassle and expense. it probably wont change him anyway
 
Could do the decent thing and give it to someone who wants it. There are plenty of people around wanting tropical fish. Most of all, I ask that you don't do the microwave thing. Animal cruelty is one of the things I most detest.
 
john.m20 said:
i know he hasnt hurt me, yet. but hes hurt other fish.
i look on my tank as my own little creation. i am their god. i provide food, light and warmth.
if this little wanker of a fish is gonna mess about in my house, he will be punished.
i could buy a seperate, smaller, colder and less well-areated tank i suppose, and use it as a kind of jail. put him in solitary for a few days to teach him a lesson.

but thats a lot of hassle and expense. it probably wont change him anyway
Click to expand...

Think rehabilitation instead of punishment, 25 years in solitary will get him thinking.;)
 
Rejection from women, inferiority complex, animal cruelty. Classic traits.

I fully expect the next installment to step up to assaulting/attacking women to continue your 'serial killer pyschology by numbers' fantasies.
 
i had a problem fish once. it didnt stare me out though, and its m.o. was different. it was a night stalker type killer. every morning for about two weeks i'd wake up and inspect the tank only to discover some murderous denizen of my fishy paradise had seen off another neon or tiger barb. the rest of the tank dwellers must have dreaded me turning off the strip light of an evening. only the angel fish survived an attack and she was too traumatised to provide much of a description. my suspicions centred on the shark, but not because of any concrete evidence. give a fish a bad name you know what i mean.

anyhow, all of a sudden the attacks just stopped. no leads. no clues. nothing. just paradise lost for my waterbound subjects. they lost faith in me after that - i could see it in their eyes, and shortly afterwards i sold the tank and fish to fishworld in chadderton. you didnt buy your killer fish from there did you? maybe it got cocky from not being caught.
 
What type of fish is it???
 
i think its a killifish, im not sure though. i would give it to someone, but the people i know whove got tanks dont want it because of the horror stories ive told them.
is there something like the rspca for fish?
 
Just take it to a local pond or lake somewhere. Dont kill it, theres no need. Find your nearest lake and drop him in.
 
MazzymoMazz said:
Just take it to a local pond or lake somewhere. Dont kill it, theres no need. Find your nearest lake and drop him in.
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He's a tropical fish, he's hardly likely going to be chuffed about being dropped in the local shit infested frozen canal!
 
its a tropical fish, the tank has to be warmed up to keep them alive.
if i droppped him in a lake in the middle of winter he would die for sure
 
Just take it to your fish shop (and i don't mean the chippy!) they will take it and sell it on to some other gullible cunt!
 
john.m20 said:
its a tropical fish, the tank has to be warmed up to keep them alive.
if i droppped him in a lake in the middle of winter he would die for sure
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you want dropping in the lake you heartless fucker. Get 2 tanks then
 
the humane [does that apply to fish?] is to freeze it.

stick it in a bowl of tank water and pop it in the freezer.

for effect you could put a lolly stick in there too and scare the kids.
 
i really wouldnt want some other poor sod to suffer with this cunt of a fish to be honest.
and im on bad terms with the local fish owner anyway, we had a pretty serious falling out over some bronze catfish
 
the safety officer said:
the humane [does that apply to fish?] is to freeze it.

stick it in a bowl of tank water and pop it in the freezer.

for effect you could put a lolly stick in there too and scare the kids.
Click to expand...

:(
 
John I'm diasppointed in you
 
the safety officer said:
the humane [does that apply to fish?] is to freeze it.

stick it in a bowl of tank water and pop it in the freezer.

for effect you could put a lolly stick in there too and scare the kids.
Click to expand...

hows that human??
most humane way would probably just be putting it in a bag and stamping on it, but i dont think i could do that.
 
john.m20 said:
its a tropical fish, the tank has to be warmed up to keep them alive.
if i droppped him in a lake in the middle of winter he would die for sure
Click to expand...

drop it in the canal at the back of Kelloggs. there is a pipe there that warm water flows out of, straight into the canal It'll be lovely and warm
 
cant you borrow Piranah off someone and just park it next to your tank as a sort of threat to the little bleeder! (the pit bull of the fish world)
 
the safety officer said:
the humane [does that apply to fish?] is to freeze it.

stick it in a bowl of tank water and pop it in the freezer.

for effect you could put a lolly stick in there too and scare the kids.
Click to expand...

thats true, apart from the lolly stick. Or into boiling water , either will kill it instantly. sounds sick but its true.
 
RedorDead said:
thats true, apart from the lolly stick. Or into boiling water , either will kill it instantly. sounds sick but its true.
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really?? might be the way to go then. could i just boil a kettle and slip it in then?
 
plug a toaster in and drop it in the fish tank. Remember to take your crumpets out of toaster first:cool:
 
john.m20 said:
really?? might be the way to go then. could i just boil a kettle and slip it in then?
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Im not saying you should do it, you shouldnt just kill it just because it winds you up by watching you when your sat down. move your chair instead.
What sort of fish is it anyway??
 
RedorDead said:
Im not saying you should do it, you shouldnt just kill it just because it winds you up by watching you when your sat down. move your chair instead.
What sort of fish is it anyway??
Click to expand...

im not definitely going to do it, im giving it a few days to see how things pan out.
its a killifish i think, im not sure
 
john.m20 said:
hows that human??
most humane way would probably just be putting it in a bag and stamping on it, but i dont think i could do that.
Click to expand...

Ironically the kindest method out of all that you've suggested, and the only one you wont try (albeit still a very cruel one). Get on a forum or something, I'm positive there will be someone who'll take it.
 
john.m20 said:
im not definitely going to do it, im giving it a few days to see how things pan out.
its a killifish i think, im not sure
Click to expand...

i hope its a piranna it bites your fingers off when you try and catch it
 
Put it in a glass. Either side of the glass place more glasses. One with icy cold water, the other with boiling water. Let it chose.
 
I think you should really ask yourself why your letting a fish looking at you bother you that much.........

:confused:
 
its not just the way it looks at me, its just its whole general demeanour!!
anyway, some of these replies are making me feel guilty, so im going to find a fish forum and make an effort to get it re-homed.
do i need to be totally honest with them though about its bad behavious, or can i say its a lovely friendly thing??
 
Log all the times that it stares you out and take it to court for an asbo:D
 
john.m20 said:
is it legal?
i've had it up to here with him, hes ruining my tank.
he thinks hes the big dag and just generally mucks around in there, digging in the gravel and stuff.
hes also very vicious. he killed a small plec i put in a few weeks ago, and im sure hes been eating some of the other fishes eggs.
the worst thing though, is that when i go to feed them or clean the tanbk, he comes right up to the glass and tries to stare me out!
hes got a right mean look. i know its stupid, but it unsettles me.
i feel daft getting intimidated by a fish thats a couple of inches long!!

so ive decided, im going to teach the fucker a lesson.
but just trying to make sure, i cant get done for animal cruelty or anything if i kill him, can i?
its only a little fish after all, not a dag or anything.
Click to expand...

here you go do it like this

http://13gb.com/media.php?id=1052

:eek: :eek: :eek:
 
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