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CLASSIC: Ive gone and got myself into a bit of trouble

Hello everyone im back
Sorry about my brother taking the piss, i didn't try hanging myself and i most certainly didn't suffer "horrific anal injuries", i have been in hospital because i suffered a severe allergic reaction to the weight gain i started drinking.

Im back to normal now the swelling has gone down and my Dad has finally stopped calling me "elephant man"

Thanks everyone for your concern
 
Bollocks said:
Hello everyone im back
Sorry about my brother taking the piss, i didn't try hanging myself and i most certainly didn't suffer "horrific anal injuries", i have been in hospital because i suffered a severe allergic reaction to the weight gain i started drinking.

Im back to normal now the swelling has gone down and my Dad has finally stopped calling me "elephant man"

Thanks everyone for your concern
Click to expand...

Ahh good to hear from you.

Started to get a bit worried

Hope all is well :)
 
Bollocks said:
Hello everyone im back
Sorry about my brother taking the piss, i didn't try hanging myself and i most certainly didn't suffer "horrific anal injuries", i have been in hospital because i suffered a severe allergic reaction to the weight gain i started drinking.

Im back to normal now the swelling has gone down and my Dad has finally stopped calling me "elephant man"

Thanks everyone for your concern
Click to expand...

your bro?:confused:
 
Yorks-Red said:
your bro?:confused:
Click to expand...

If you read a couple of posts on the last page you will see a post by my brother saying i tried to commit suicide, i didn't though but the little fucker got on my computer while i was in hospital and started posting shite under my name :mad:
 
watch enter the dragon.youcan be like the bruce.failing that ,shoot the bastard
 
Bollocks said:
If you read a couple of posts on the last page you will see a post by my brother saying i tried to commit suicide, i didn't though but the little fucker got on my computer while i was in hospital and started posting shite under my name :mad:
Click to expand...

ffs mate you ok?:eek:
 
Bollocks said:
Hello everyone im back
Sorry about my brother taking the piss, i didn't try hanging myself and i most certainly didn't suffer "horrific anal injuries", i have been in hospital because i suffered a severe allergic reaction to the weight gain i started drinking.

Im back to normal now the swelling has gone down and my Dad has finally stopped calling me "elephant man"

Thanks everyone for your concern
Click to expand...


:D :D
 
Classic. :)
 
Bollocks said:
If you read a couple of posts on the last page you will see a post by my brother saying i tried to commit suicide, i didn't though but the little fucker got on my computer while i was in hospital and started posting shite under my name :mad:
Click to expand...

You mean he carried on were you left off :rolleyes:
 
Bollocks said:
If you read a couple of posts on the last page you will see a post by my brother saying i tried to commit suicide, i didn't though but the little fucker got on my computer while i was in hospital and started posting shite under my name :mad:
Click to expand...

:D :D
 
how has this thread notched up over 16,500 views?
 
bollocks is the forum legend:cool:
 
Yorks-Red said:
ffs mate you ok?:eek:
Click to expand...

Yeah im fine now, i got severe facial swelling due to being allergic to the weight gain, my eyes where swelled shut and i lost all hearing too.

Its been murder lying in that hospital bed all that time and what makes it worse is i thought i had a private room, it was only last week when i could see again that i realised i was on a ward with a load of old people, the thing is i passed the time most days by wanking and shouting until i could hear myself through my swollen ears.

no wonder they kept giving me sleeping tablets
 
Bollocks said:
the thing is i passed the time most days by wanking and shouting until i could hear myself through my swollen ears.

no wonder they kept giving me sleeping tablets
Click to expand...
:d
 
Bollocks said:
Yeah im fine now, i got severe facial swelling due to being allergic to the weight gain, my eyes where swelled shut and i lost all hearing too.

Its been murder lying in that hospital bed all that time and what makes it worse is i thought i had a private room, it was only last week when i could see again that i realised i was on a ward with a load of old people, the thing is i passed the time most days by wanking and shouting until i could hear myself through my swollen ears.

no wonder they kept giving me sleeping tablets
Click to expand...

ha ha ha ha fucking ha you my man deserve a fucking ascar:D
 
Yorks-Red said:
ha ha ha ha fucking ha you my man deserve a fucking ascar:D
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I deserve a scar????

Why? for voting wrong on that poll?

Ive said im sorry:(
 
this man deserves an award, funniest thread ive seen in ages
 
my missus has just asked what Im crying laughing at. Have had to read her 21 pages of the stuff, shes pissing herself now too :D :D :D
 
I cant believe Ive only just found this. Fantastic. Tears of unbridled joy.
 
Bollocks said:
Yeah im fine now, i got severe facial swelling due to being allergic to the weight gain, my eyes where swelled shut and i lost all hearing too.

Its been murder lying in that hospital bed all that time and what makes it worse is i thought i had a private room, it was only last week when i could see again that i realised i was on a ward with a load of old people, the thing is i passed the time most days by wanking and shouting until i could hear myself through my swollen ears.

no wonder they kept giving me sleeping tablets
Click to expand...

Welcome back Bollocks... :D :D
 
Welcome back Bollocks glad to see you are ok. hopefully this year will be better for you than the end of last year.
 
Fucking made my day his return!

Bollocks, you have unfinished business! :D :D :D
 
get to the bus stop early and start shadow boxing




























job done
 
Yeah, come on bollox you can't let him get away with it, we need another plan and quick
 
I have unfinished business with the lad at the bus stop and believe me I am going to get my revenge.

They have started doing Tai Chi lessons at the leisure centre so I might give that a go, I think after a couple of lessons ill know enough to surprise him, I know a few moves already that I picked up from watching "Best of the best" (top film)
 
was funny for the first 15 odd pages, youre just flogging a dead horse now you knob.
 
Give him a break Weezy its the best thing on this forum at the moment. Certainly better than the RORO wum!
 
weezy baby said:
was funny for the first 15 odd pages, youre just flogging a dead horse now you knob.
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Ooooh the irony:rolleyes:

Possibly the shittest wum on the forum giving probably the best wum on the forum advice on when to stop.

I sense a little bit of the old green eyed monster
 
I would just like to say a big hello to the lads at FT

thanks for the support
 
**message deleted**
 
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bttt.

:D :D
 
ok get a cheese wire walk straight up to him with a smile on your face, wrap it round his and pull like fuck:)
 
Quality!

:D
 
Bollocks said:
Im still here, just lying low at the minute. ;)
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whahey! :D


Get to something good you pissy-mustardy hanging-from-dad's-chest-expander cunt! :p
 
3 months

Bollocks said:
I have unfinished business with the lad at the bus stop and believe me I am going to get my revenge.

They have started doing Tai Chi lessons at the leisure centre so I might give that a go, I think after a couple of lessons ill know enough to surprise him, I know a few moves already that I picked up from watching "Best of the best" (top film)
Click to expand...

We demand an update bollocks, been on tenderhooks for 3 months????


:confused: :confused: :confused:
 
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