• Paying members only

    Can now disable the avatars on the home page and forum pages. Go and click on your name (top right) ---> Preferences ---> Disable Avatars

CLASSIC: Ive gone and got myself into a bit of trouble

I know from bitter experience that problems like this can be very troubling

What you need to do in situations like this is ask yourself 'what would snoop dogg do in this situation?'.

The answer of course is...to shadow box this mother fuckers ass to the curb.

Let me know if you need any more help, I'm there for you.
 
Hairdressing course? 'Mates' with birds? Fuck me, this is like an episode of fucking Hollyoaks.:rolleyes:

Look softlad, he won't front you at the bus stop - he was trying to save face in school by giving it the big un.

If by chance he does try it on at the bus stop, wait till he comes up and puts his forehead towards you again, and then lean back and put all your weight into headbutting his nose. Trust me, i've done it before and if you connect right you won't even have to throw a punch. If you can, grab his collar and put the nut in a couple of more times.

I must warn you though, by doing this you risk getting blood in your highlights. :rolleyes:
 
Hide around the corner until he pops up at the bus stop,
creep up and bash him over the head with pick axe handle
Then perform the mandatory amercan history x curb stomp on him
He wont be so fucking cocky after that :)
 
Acme...

Sell all the equipment you'll need to get rid of this individual.

Just ask that Wild eyed cayotte or Roadrunner...............:D
 
not many threads have me laughing out loud, excellent work sir.
 
Im all psyched up for the big one tomorrow i probably won't sleep tonight with all the adrenalin rushing through me but fuck it im prepared.

I watched Rocky 4 again then did a few bicep curls with my mams aerobics dumbbells, they aren't that heavy but you start to feel the burn after 20 or so.

Im hoping it won't come to violence but im prepared if it does, ive got my bike chain and my pissy mustard thing is nearly full, hopefully he was just acting hard in front of the other people in the canteen and when its just me and him at the bus stop he'll just leave it
 
Bollocks said:
Im all psyched up for the big one tomorrow i probably won't sleep tonight with all the adrenalin rushing through me but fuck it im prepared.

I watched Rocky 4 again then did a few bicep curls with my mams aerobics dumbbells, they aren't that heavy but you start to feel the burn after 20 or so.

Im hoping it won't come to violence but im prepared if it does, ive got my bike chain and my pissy mustard thing is nearly full, hopefully he was just acting hard in front of the other people in the canteen and when its just me and him at the bus stop he'll just leave it
Click to expand...

ha ha ha hes back:D
 
Yorks-Red said:
ha ha ha hes back:D
Click to expand...

Not for long mate im off to bed in a minute to get a good nights rest.
Thanks for your help anyway, i thought a chap that looked like Phil Mitchell might have a few words of wisdom but instead you've just laughed at me.

You better watch your back ive got a bike chain and a bottle of mustardy piss, only joking yorks:D

Your a forum legend, you menkalist :D :D
 
Bollocks said:
Not for long mate im off to bed in a minute to get a good nights rest.
Thanks for your help anyway, i thought a chap that looked like Phil Mitchell might have a few words of wisdom but instead you've just laughed at me.

You better watch your back ive got a bike chain and a bottle of mustardy piss, only joking yorks

Your a forum legend, you menkalist :D
Click to expand...

:eek:


ha ha ha who is this? its either ears or mikey:D :D
 
This isnt really my advice but i read on here once that if you want to ward off trouble you should shadow box in front of him and he'll get the message:D
 
Kingkongsballz said:
Hide around the corner until he pops up at the bus stop,
creep up and bash him over the head with pick axe handle
Then perform the mandatory amercan history x curb stomp on him
He wont be so fucking cocky after that :)
Click to expand...

He's no chance of sneaking up on him, he'll stink of piss and mustard. :rolleyes:
 
If he gets agro with you, tell him you'll phone the police, that'll make him think twice.
 
Bollocks said:
To put your minds at rest lads im not a gayer, just because i do hairdressing doesn't make me a queer.

Nicky Clark is knee deep in pussy as is Vidal Sassoon and Toni & Guy
Click to expand...

as fucking if - you are kidding yourself and so are they

knee-deep in other mens shite and jizzum more like
 
stab him to death and spend the rest of your life in prison like most soft cunts. fuck it.
 
Bollocks said:
To put your minds at rest lads im not a gayer, just because i do hairdressing doesn't make me a queer.

Nicky Clark is knee deep in pussy as is Vidal Sassoon and Toni & Guy
Click to expand...

Herb Al Essense gets more pussy than all those put together
 
Bollocks said:
Right lads I've got a plan, I'm going to get a washing up liquid bottle and piss in it for the rest of the day until I fill it (my piss first thing in the morning is a big one so that should do it) then take it to the bus stop in the morning, if he starts any shit ill pull out the washing up liquid bottle and tell him its full of piss and if he carries on I'm going to squirt it at him.

With him doing cookery he'll be pretty concerned about the hygene implications and back off

That's the plan anyway, obviousy CS gas would of been better but no one seems to know where to get it
Click to expand...

fuck wee, fill it with petty and flick a match at the fucker.
 
would just like to say, if you dont die, I would like to be introduced to this fit bird who started all the aggro.

if needs be, I am the hardest guy on thie board so I can protect you if you like. but first I will need a pic of this girl. and all the other girls on your hairdressing course while your at it.
 
11pm here...

...and I'll have a hard time getting to sleep knowing this should all be played out by the time I get up. Pure magic. Threads like this are what make this place what it is.
 
It's nearly showtime.................

...................Will Bollocks get bolloxed by the chef, Or will the chef get hit by that meny left's he'll be begging for a right?
 
ive just driven past a bus stop on the way into work and there was a bloke stood there wearing a ninja turtle outfit and holding a starwars light sabre.....

i wonder if that might be one of them :confused:
 
Wonder how it all went? Hope Bollocks comes on soon to tell us all about it. Thats if hes still around.

Just heard on the news that a lad was killed outside a college, he was found covered in piss and mustard. :D
 
:D :D
Bollocks said:
Im all psyched up for the big one tomorrow i probably won't sleep tonight with all the adrenalin rushing through me but fuck it im prepared.

I watched Rocky 4 again then did a few bicep curls with my mams aerobics dumbbells, they aren't that heavy but you start to feel the burn after 20 or so.
Im hoping it won't come to violence but im prepared if it does, ive got my bike chain and my pissy mustard thing is nearly full, hopefully he was just acting hard in front of the other people in the canteen and when its just me and him at the bus stop he'll just leave it
Click to expand...

I nominate Bollocks for a British Comedy Award !:D
 
carrying a screwdriver is not a bad trick

you can tell em you were going to fix your locker at college.

also if he comes at you, you're "tooled" up.
 
Luffy said:
would just like to say, if you dont die, I would like to be introduced to this fit bird who started all the aggro.

if needs be, I am the hardest guy on thie board so I can protect you if you like. but first I will need a pic of this girl. and all the other girls on your hairdressing course while your at it.
Click to expand...
Back to the garden with you!
 
b redbury;What you need to do in situations like this is ask yourself 'what would snoop dogg do in this situation?'. [/QUOTE said:
He'd drop like its hot... drop it like its hot.... *













* the heated crimping curlers that is
Click to expand...
 
Anyone else getting a bit worried about Bollocks?
He must have had his lunch break by now, he could have at least let us know that hes ok.:(
 
steve-07 said:
Anyone else getting a bit worried about Bollocks?
He must have had his lunch break by now, he could have at least let us know that hes ok.:(
Click to expand...

hes probably watching rocky 6.
 
ffs whats happened to Brendan Bollocks?:eek:
 
One of THE funniest things i've ever read on here :D

Bollocks is dead.
I'm his uncle.
 
This is a cliffhanger alright! I can't possibly go about the rest of my day without knowing whether the bully got covered in pissy mustard!
 
right you twats i have done a poll on this. get voting now:cool:
 
you do sound like a faggot so the attack was likely justified!!!! now fuck off:D
 
Brilliant WUM.:D
 
I'm alright lads no need to worry.

Things didn't exactly go to plan to be honest but my pride is hurt more than anthing

I got up 30 minutes earlier today so I could make sure I was properly awake before I turned up at the bus stop, I had a decent breakfast (readybrek) and I did my hair, I went for big spikes to give myself an aggressive look (60 percent of your appeance is your hair you know) I then finished off the homemade mustard spray and ventured out, my arse was twitching big style.
I got to the bus stop and the lad wasn't there so I took up my usual place, next minute I'm pushed from behind "act hard now dickhead" he shouted, the cunt had brought a mate with him as well, all my plans where out the window.
I reached for the pissy mustard spray inside my coat but his mate shouted "he's got a weapon" and rugby tackled me to the floor, the washing up bottle fell out of my coat and the lad from college picked it up and said "what's this, it smells like piss", he then started squirting it at me and kicking me while I was on the floor.
The ordeal seemed to last for ages but was probably only about a minute, the bus came and the two cunts got on but I couldn't I was in a right state, I stunk like fuck so I had to go back home for a shower.
I got in college over an hour late and judging by the smirks word had got round, I feel a right tit.

My brothers having it later the cunt, he said the pissy mustard would sting like fuck but it didn't it just stunk.

I also got told off by my tutor for not wearing my hairdressers shirt (like a smok), I just said I forgot it I couldn't really tell him its covered in piss and mustard
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top