weoftenscore6
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I think that's the winner! .. fucking genius!
I think that's the winner! .. fucking genius!
T
thebighairedpixie
Guest
Wouldn't go that far, considering she legged it with all the cash he gave her and was more than happy to stand by and wait while he fumbled with a johnny. Definately took offence to sitting it out on a chair though!
CharlieB
Senior Member
- Messages
- 2,413
Our kid used to splash down a lot.
Not all the time, but whenever he got proper leathered, he'd swamp his bed. Every now and again he'd do a midnight fireman as well, wandering round the house, putting out fires in wardrobes, with half a pint of piss. If I had a pound for every time i've pulled out a top, to find the bottom third stinking of stale Fosters, i'd have about six quid now.
He was in the marines and he trapped on holiday. It was a real coup for him. It was the first bird he'd nailed that didn't look like Jocky Wilson in a wig and he was fair taken with her.
They went out all week, and he spent the whole time getting moderately pissed and shagging the arse of it every night.
On the last night they had a bit more to drink than normal, and he got all worried that he was going to splash. He'd got all sweet on her and wanted to stay in touch after and all that. After they'd shagged and she went to sleep, he put his plan into action. His mate had told him, that he used to just jam a jonny on the end. If he lagged, he could just keep hold of it and carry it to the bog. It sounded a bit suss, but he was scared stiff of giving her chapped legs, so gave it a crack.
He woke up about three hours later. His mate's plan only catered for the type of swamping, where you start having a slash and then wake up before you do too much damage. Our kid had pumped the fucker up with about three bladders full. He said that when he pulled the duvet back and checked it out, it looked like he was getting a nosh off a seal cub.
He made a comedy attempt to pick the fucker up and get to the bathroom. He held the top end on to his knob with one hand and tried to get his hand underneath the big bit. She had her back to him and as soon as he lifted it, it split and washed all over her arse. She woke up, called him all sorts of cunt, rubbed some Lipsyl on her arse cheeks then got dressed and left him to it.
It was back to the Jocky Wilson lookalikes after that. He said that they quite liked getting pissed on.
Not all the time, but whenever he got proper leathered, he'd swamp his bed. Every now and again he'd do a midnight fireman as well, wandering round the house, putting out fires in wardrobes, with half a pint of piss. If I had a pound for every time i've pulled out a top, to find the bottom third stinking of stale Fosters, i'd have about six quid now.
He was in the marines and he trapped on holiday. It was a real coup for him. It was the first bird he'd nailed that didn't look like Jocky Wilson in a wig and he was fair taken with her.
They went out all week, and he spent the whole time getting moderately pissed and shagging the arse of it every night.
On the last night they had a bit more to drink than normal, and he got all worried that he was going to splash. He'd got all sweet on her and wanted to stay in touch after and all that. After they'd shagged and she went to sleep, he put his plan into action. His mate had told him, that he used to just jam a jonny on the end. If he lagged, he could just keep hold of it and carry it to the bog. It sounded a bit suss, but he was scared stiff of giving her chapped legs, so gave it a crack.
He woke up about three hours later. His mate's plan only catered for the type of swamping, where you start having a slash and then wake up before you do too much damage. Our kid had pumped the fucker up with about three bladders full. He said that when he pulled the duvet back and checked it out, it looked like he was getting a nosh off a seal cub.
He made a comedy attempt to pick the fucker up and get to the bathroom. He held the top end on to his knob with one hand and tried to get his hand underneath the big bit. She had her back to him and as soon as he lifted it, it split and washed all over her arse. She woke up, called him all sorts of cunt, rubbed some Lipsyl on her arse cheeks then got dressed and left him to it.
It was back to the Jocky Wilson lookalikes after that. He said that they quite liked getting pissed on.
R
Ringo
Guest
Sunday League Team Annual Friendly in Glasgow.
On the way back from a top weekend in glasgow we stop off in this little town called moffit or something. Anyway our team at the time was a bit like the UN we had lads from all over the show and it was a top mix and everbody got on well apart from this glasweigen lad who was picking/ being racist to one of the lads - Ugandan john. Anyway John didn't say anything but you could tell he was a little upset so i came up an pretty evil scam to get back at him...
Anyway this glaswegien lad is leathered by now and stumbles off to a local shop to buy some Fridge magnets...no i'm not taking the piss...and leaves his phone on the pub table. So we get his phone and edit the managers name on his phone o the name of his on/off girlfriend.
when we get back on the mini bus he's that pissed he dozzes off. At this point we one bell his phone abou 3 or 4 times off the managers phone. and then send him a text saying i'mm pregnant!!!
Anyway we ring his phone then long enough to wake him up and then put it down just before he answers. so he's looking at the phone see's 5 miss calls from his bird and then reads the message
he is silent for about 5 minutes and then tries to ring the number - our football manager who has got his phone on silent, and leaves a voice male basically calling her a stupid bitch etc and then goes quiet again.
Half an hour later we get to a services and a few of us are getting some food when my brother falls through the open door of the burger place we are in doubled up and laughing to much to even speak.
eventually we notice he is pointing into the shop across service station what do we see.....
The lad we are playing the trick on buying the biggest teddy bear monkey thing you've ever seen! when we walked up to him you just heard "£50!!! oh i pay it but only cos its for the baby!"
The wind-up went on for about another 2 hours but he got suspicious when we sent him a text saying "I fucking Hate Monkeys!!!!"
Never laughed so much in my life.
On the way back from a top weekend in glasgow we stop off in this little town called moffit or something. Anyway our team at the time was a bit like the UN we had lads from all over the show and it was a top mix and everbody got on well apart from this glasweigen lad who was picking/ being racist to one of the lads - Ugandan john. Anyway John didn't say anything but you could tell he was a little upset so i came up an pretty evil scam to get back at him...
Anyway this glaswegien lad is leathered by now and stumbles off to a local shop to buy some Fridge magnets...no i'm not taking the piss...and leaves his phone on the pub table. So we get his phone and edit the managers name on his phone o the name of his on/off girlfriend.
when we get back on the mini bus he's that pissed he dozzes off. At this point we one bell his phone abou 3 or 4 times off the managers phone. and then send him a text saying i'mm pregnant!!!
Anyway we ring his phone then long enough to wake him up and then put it down just before he answers. so he's looking at the phone see's 5 miss calls from his bird and then reads the message
he is silent for about 5 minutes and then tries to ring the number - our football manager who has got his phone on silent, and leaves a voice male basically calling her a stupid bitch etc and then goes quiet again.
Half an hour later we get to a services and a few of us are getting some food when my brother falls through the open door of the burger place we are in doubled up and laughing to much to even speak.
eventually we notice he is pointing into the shop across service station what do we see.....
The lad we are playing the trick on buying the biggest teddy bear monkey thing you've ever seen! when we walked up to him you just heard "£50!!! oh i pay it but only cos its for the baby!"
The wind-up went on for about another 2 hours but he got suspicious when we sent him a text saying "I fucking Hate Monkeys!!!!"
Never laughed so much in my life.
now that`s funny
eccles cake
Senior Member
- Messages
- 5,225
well seeing as they were in the toilet and he was pissed and she probably wasn't great at English, she maybe thought he was saying shit down or something
M
myvoidsi
Guest
On the way back from a top weekend in glasgow we stop off in this little town called moffit or something. Anyway our team at the time was a bit like the UN we had lads from all over the show and it was a top mix and everbody got on well apart from this glasweigen lad who was picking/ being racist to one of the lads - Ugandan john. Anyway John didn't say anything but you could tell he was a little upset so i came up an pretty evil scam to get back at him...
Anyway this glaswegien lad is leathered by now and stumbles off to a local shop to buy some Fridge magnets...no i'm not taking the piss...and leaves his phone on the pub table. So we get his phone and edit the managers name on his phone o the name of his on/off girlfriend.
when we get back on the mini bus he's that pissed he dozzes off. At this point we one bell his phone abou 3 or 4 times off the managers phone. and then send him a text saying i'mm pregnant!!!
Anyway we ring his phone then long enough to wake him up and then put it down just before he answers. so he's looking at the phone see's 5 miss calls from his bird and then reads the message
he is silent for about 5 minutes and then tries to ring the number - our football manager who has got his phone on silent, and leaves a voice male basically calling her a stupid bitch etc and then goes quiet again.
Half an hour later we get to a services and a few of us are getting some food when my brother falls through the open door of the burger place we are in doubled up and laughing to much to even speak.
eventually we notice he is pointing into the shop across service station what do we see.....
The lad we are playing the trick on buying the biggest teddy bear monkey thing you've ever seen! when we walked up to him you just heard "£50!!! oh i pay it but only cos its for the baby!"
The wind-up went on for about another 2 hours but he got suspicious when we sent him a text saying "I fucking Hate Monkeys!!!!"
Never laughed so much in my life.
That's fucking hilarious, what a quality wind up
B
badboybubby
Guest
Prestatyn Red
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bttt..good laugh this
M
mufc1976
Guest
anymore for anymore?
M
Manchester
Guest
Ok I gotta be careful here as this was a stag do and the guilty married not so long after (was a while ago but still).
plenty of the lads went to a popular seaside resort for a stag do to celebrate the ending of one the groups freedom.
Now about 50 went and within the group were some very lively lads (a few bitters) but mainly reds.
Anyway after losing a few on the way (yes arrested before even hitting the golden mile) and plenty of incidents in around the bars the numbers were down to about 30.
It was decided that the main aim for the last night was to get the stag a shag. So off trotted the group into a boozer then onto club. Now the problem wasnt just the fact the lad in question was an ugly cunt - he liked a beer and barny and was mainly more interested in looking for the 'enemy' (this is anybody who didnt sound look or act United - his idea of logic when pissed..daft but we were young).
Anyhow he was sent to the bar where a line of ladies were stood to try his hand...and with the rest of us watching in fits of laughter as one after another the women either slapped him or walked away.
To our cheers he finally managed to pull some equally bladdered bird near the end of the evening and was slow 'dancing' (proping each other up) which then led to him turning to face the lads and shout 'am in'.
We all stayed for last orders happy we had sent him on his way to one last act as a free man.
So off he goes stumbling...into the BB..creeping through the staircase in partial darkness. Tries to unlock the door but finds his keys are gone, however after trying the door handle he is relieve to find it unlocked.
He gets on the job with this bird (he claims he lasted a whole 5 minutes). She passes out pissed up and he is left lying there awake and thirsty. Of course like a proper trooper he decideds to return to the group for one last chance at another pint.
Up he gets and doesnt want to hit the light (or was too pissed to bother) thus couldnt find his pants...but manages to find his shirt and shoes and underwear.
So being a gentleman and not wanting to wake the bird he goes to the wardobe for another pair of tousers. He struggles and pulls but the fuckers wont go on. So in the pissed logic that is beer brain he decides that his room has been stolen by other hliday makers (after all the landllady was getting sick of the late night returns etc).
So our hero decides to take revenge..and leaves the room and takes a piss down the stair case. Next thing our group is heading down the street on our way back to various digs along the road only to see the stag running down the middle of the road with a shirt he didnt go out in, a pair of shoes, no pants and birds knickers.
He sees our group and starts screaming 'they robbed me room..they robbed me room..lets kill the cunts' etc.
He is slowed down and asked to explain the problem...he starts pointing excitedly at this BB claiming all kinds of wild abuse etc...
He was swifty corrected and escorted under protest to the other side of the road to the actual BB he was really booked into.
Never again was this spoken off...and nobody knew what happened to the bird he left in the other persons bed...or if he kept the knickers!!!
plenty of the lads went to a popular seaside resort for a stag do to celebrate the ending of one the groups freedom.
Now about 50 went and within the group were some very lively lads (a few bitters) but mainly reds.
Anyway after losing a few on the way (yes arrested before even hitting the golden mile) and plenty of incidents in around the bars the numbers were down to about 30.
It was decided that the main aim for the last night was to get the stag a shag. So off trotted the group into a boozer then onto club. Now the problem wasnt just the fact the lad in question was an ugly cunt - he liked a beer and barny and was mainly more interested in looking for the 'enemy' (this is anybody who didnt sound look or act United - his idea of logic when pissed..daft but we were young).
Anyhow he was sent to the bar where a line of ladies were stood to try his hand...and with the rest of us watching in fits of laughter as one after another the women either slapped him or walked away.
To our cheers he finally managed to pull some equally bladdered bird near the end of the evening and was slow 'dancing' (proping each other up) which then led to him turning to face the lads and shout 'am in'.
We all stayed for last orders happy we had sent him on his way to one last act as a free man.
So off he goes stumbling...into the BB..creeping through the staircase in partial darkness. Tries to unlock the door but finds his keys are gone, however after trying the door handle he is relieve to find it unlocked.
He gets on the job with this bird (he claims he lasted a whole 5 minutes). She passes out pissed up and he is left lying there awake and thirsty. Of course like a proper trooper he decideds to return to the group for one last chance at another pint.
Up he gets and doesnt want to hit the light (or was too pissed to bother) thus couldnt find his pants...but manages to find his shirt and shoes and underwear.
So being a gentleman and not wanting to wake the bird he goes to the wardobe for another pair of tousers. He struggles and pulls but the fuckers wont go on. So in the pissed logic that is beer brain he decides that his room has been stolen by other hliday makers (after all the landllady was getting sick of the late night returns etc).
So our hero decides to take revenge..and leaves the room and takes a piss down the stair case. Next thing our group is heading down the street on our way back to various digs along the road only to see the stag running down the middle of the road with a shirt he didnt go out in, a pair of shoes, no pants and birds knickers.
He sees our group and starts screaming 'they robbed me room..they robbed me room..lets kill the cunts' etc.
He is slowed down and asked to explain the problem...he starts pointing excitedly at this BB claiming all kinds of wild abuse etc...
He was swifty corrected and escorted under protest to the other side of the road to the actual BB he was really booked into.
Never again was this spoken off...and nobody knew what happened to the bird he left in the other persons bed...or if he kept the knickers!!!
I
I am The Resurrection
Guest
bttt
5 Cantona's
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Bttt
V
Veni_Vidi_Vidic
Guest
bttt.
quality thread.
quality thread.
S
StretfordWarrior
Guest
Went to York with the Mrs, stayed in a hotel with a shared bathroom. Got up for a piss in the middle of the night and there was some pissed bird in the bog, anyway, she decides she wants to suck me off, next thing this lad walks up and starts doing her from behind. Went back to bed, woke the next morning, exchanged a nod at breakfast with the lad who was doing her from behind !
A
agentdalecooper
Guest
went on holiday to gran canaria, puerto rico with my friend in march. i had a miserable time and when i got back i never spoke to him again. he keeps on calling and i never call back.
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myvoidsi
Guest
I'd forgotten how funny this thread is. The "I fucking hate monkeys" post is absolutely fantastic
B
Booker T
Guest
Was on holidays in Spain and hooked up with this blonde bird with massive tits at the hotel. She was a great shag. Anyway a couple of days later i got talking to a red at the hotel. Talking football as you do he told me he was on holiday with his wife and 14yr old daughter who happens to be blonde with massive tits
While is Amsterdam, one of the lads was pretty fucked on mushrooms, and so stayed in for the night. When we got back, he'd been sick and filled a carrier bag, and left it in the shower. After a small debate, we decided the best option was to throw it out of the window. I think I should mention we were 5 stories up. Anyway, we all leant out, and someone dropped it... perfectly on a suited woman's head. We all flew back into the room, each cracking our heads on the window frame, and burst into fits of giggles, partly because of what had happened, and partly because we'd been in amsterdam all day. About an hour later, our ill friend mentioned 'I've been sick in a bag lads'
S
SEchrisRI
Guest
This is tame by most standards, but still funny story.
2 years ago 6 of us went to Ibiza, a really messy holiday, far too much booze etc in excess. About halfway through the holiday we went on this bar crawl with a group of lads from Birmingham who we’d met at Cream the previous night and had got hold of loads of free promotions stubs for cheap drinking sessions/happy hours in bars around San Antonio.
Anyway, the lads gave us all some tickets to this shitty Mardi Gras thing, basically we went as all shots (though they too were shit) were free as was 2 pints each. After the full 2 hours at this thing one guy in our group, Matt, had had 5 or 6 too many Vodka Jelly shots and I remember coming off the coach back to the square, turning round to see him fall off the coach face first into the concrete whilst being sick in mid-air.
After getting him up we dragged him back to the Hotel and left to continue our night out. Anyway we all arrived back at the hotel around 6ish (which was earliest we came back of any night) absolutely hammered and decided to have a bit of fun. I was in the same room as Matt and so he’d left the door open for me to stagger in later. We decided amongst us that our mate Rob, (who by the way is 6ft 11) should get underneath Matt’s bed while he was lying asleep/semi conscious and chuck a glass of water over him and we’d get his reaction on camera and see if he’d notice Rob hiding under his bed as we legged it to the room next door.
Me & Rob snuck inside the room and I filled the glass with water as he took his place under the bed. Anyway we all huddled outside with the door ajar and got the camera ready, and seeing Rob’s hand motion forwards, took the picture and moved to the side waiting for the inevitable angry reaction. About 5 seconds passed and we opened the door to see Rob squirming under the bed, covered in water as he’d somehow managed to tip it over himself.
So, deciding to give it one last try, I filled another glass and we got in position. Again, Rob lifted his hand, and we got the perfect shot as the water landed straight on our mate’s face. However, he was so pissed he didn’t stir at all, and just lay in the soaking wet pillow and duvet still out of it.
Seeing Rob struggling to get his lanky frame out from under the bed, I happened to notice Matt had left the keys by the door. Whispering to my mate as he was halfway out from under the bed, I got his attention dangling the keys in front of him. Then we closed the door, locked Rob inside with my drunken mate, and the 4 of us outside pounded the door and waited.
All you heard was “I’m…I’m all wet….i’m all wet….I AM FUCKING FUMING!” We were all in a fit of laughter as we heard footsteps charging towards the door only to hear him tug away to no avail, hearing my mate Rob chuckling away as Matt punched the door shouting for us to let him out.
After 5 minutes of letting him “cool down” we came back to find Rob crying with laughter in the corridor, with Matt nowhere to be found and my room an absolute shambles as he’d smashed the place up in his drunken rage. He has since quickly forgiven us though.
2 years ago 6 of us went to Ibiza, a really messy holiday, far too much booze etc in excess. About halfway through the holiday we went on this bar crawl with a group of lads from Birmingham who we’d met at Cream the previous night and had got hold of loads of free promotions stubs for cheap drinking sessions/happy hours in bars around San Antonio.
Anyway, the lads gave us all some tickets to this shitty Mardi Gras thing, basically we went as all shots (though they too were shit) were free as was 2 pints each. After the full 2 hours at this thing one guy in our group, Matt, had had 5 or 6 too many Vodka Jelly shots and I remember coming off the coach back to the square, turning round to see him fall off the coach face first into the concrete whilst being sick in mid-air.
After getting him up we dragged him back to the Hotel and left to continue our night out. Anyway we all arrived back at the hotel around 6ish (which was earliest we came back of any night) absolutely hammered and decided to have a bit of fun. I was in the same room as Matt and so he’d left the door open for me to stagger in later. We decided amongst us that our mate Rob, (who by the way is 6ft 11) should get underneath Matt’s bed while he was lying asleep/semi conscious and chuck a glass of water over him and we’d get his reaction on camera and see if he’d notice Rob hiding under his bed as we legged it to the room next door.
Me & Rob snuck inside the room and I filled the glass with water as he took his place under the bed. Anyway we all huddled outside with the door ajar and got the camera ready, and seeing Rob’s hand motion forwards, took the picture and moved to the side waiting for the inevitable angry reaction. About 5 seconds passed and we opened the door to see Rob squirming under the bed, covered in water as he’d somehow managed to tip it over himself.
So, deciding to give it one last try, I filled another glass and we got in position. Again, Rob lifted his hand, and we got the perfect shot as the water landed straight on our mate’s face. However, he was so pissed he didn’t stir at all, and just lay in the soaking wet pillow and duvet still out of it.
Seeing Rob struggling to get his lanky frame out from under the bed, I happened to notice Matt had left the keys by the door. Whispering to my mate as he was halfway out from under the bed, I got his attention dangling the keys in front of him. Then we closed the door, locked Rob inside with my drunken mate, and the 4 of us outside pounded the door and waited.
All you heard was “I’m…I’m all wet….i’m all wet….I AM FUCKING FUMING!” We were all in a fit of laughter as we heard footsteps charging towards the door only to hear him tug away to no avail, hearing my mate Rob chuckling away as Matt punched the door shouting for us to let him out.
After 5 minutes of letting him “cool down” we came back to find Rob crying with laughter in the corridor, with Matt nowhere to be found and my room an absolute shambles as he’d smashed the place up in his drunken rage. He has since quickly forgiven us though.
"Anyway we all arrived back at the hotel around 6ish (which was earliest we came back of any night)" Thanks for clearing that up, you party animal.
S
SEchrisRI
Guest
Well I said it was tame story but wouldn't want to sound weak in the drinking league would I?
Bad enough admitting I went to that shite mardi gras bollocks.
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Gilky
Guest
Magaluf 2004 and stayed at the fiesta jungular. After a night out was with my mates on the balcony talking to my other mate who had just come back from thew night out too. Some fooking scousers then had the cheek to throw water bombs at my mate. Obviously, we wasn't amused by this, especially as they were scousers.
We plotted revenge in a non violent way. Few ideas, but then I relaised I needed a shit, so i shit a glass. Perfect aim too, as it went in the glass Mr WHippy Ice cream style. My mate was so disguted by this that he spewed, but he mopped it up with some playing cards and put that in the glass too.
I then decided to go up to their door throw all the shit and spew over it, knock it and run off. Now, the beauty of the fiesta jungular is that you can ring any room in the hotel as you only have to dials the rooms door number. We done this and changed the 'You'll Never Wank alone' theme to 'You'll never shit alone'. They were very angry on the phone claiming they were going to rob us, stab us etc. the next day. We took it with a pinch of salt though, as all fooking dippers do that anyways.
We plotted revenge in a non violent way. Few ideas, but then I relaised I needed a shit, so i shit a glass. Perfect aim too, as it went in the glass Mr WHippy Ice cream style. My mate was so disguted by this that he spewed, but he mopped it up with some playing cards and put that in the glass too.
I then decided to go up to their door throw all the shit and spew over it, knock it and run off. Now, the beauty of the fiesta jungular is that you can ring any room in the hotel as you only have to dials the rooms door number. We done this and changed the 'You'll Never Wank alone' theme to 'You'll never shit alone'. They were very angry on the phone claiming they were going to rob us, stab us etc. the next day. We took it with a pinch of salt though, as all fooking dippers do that anyways.
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Stella1999
Guest
Had a mate who went to Greece a few years back. Woke up one morning after a heavy night to find the door of his room open, he didnt think to much of it because he was so tanked up that he couldnt remember getting back to his room let alone wether he shut the door behind him. Seconds later he found his wallet on the floor next to his bed totally void of cash, now he started to worry as he was sure he had plenty of money in there as the was no safe in the room and had stupidly taken a most his Euros with him. Worried he had lost all his cash or had been stolen he got changed to head down to the pool to find the rest of the lads hoping they were the culprits on a wind up. He quickly popped for a slash and found a a few 50 euro notes scattered around the loo. Seems he had gone for a shit in the middle of the night and used his cash as bog roll!!!!
K
King_Tubby
Guest
What a boring load of fucking twats!
One of the lads, go fuck yourselves cunts.
One of the lads, go fuck yourselves cunts.
Looks like they picked up the idea off us then?
oftenscore6
Tramp
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- 619
I once went on holiday with the lads it was dead good!
We drank loads of beer and shagged loads of girls.
And it was dead hot!
We drank loads of beer and shagged loads of girls.
And it was dead hot!
Red Tinted Specs
Senior Member
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- 24,240
Fuckin' Gayers!
F
FredElliotsNipples
Guest
18 of us went to magaluf in 03 i think.First night me and a couple of mates decided to go for a swim in the sea after being on the piss all nite.Mate stupidly left his wallet in his pants on the beach it got robbed,we found the cunt that did it and bout 4 or 5 of our group gave him a proper kickin.put him in intensive care,police arrived within about a minute,i ran one way with the idiots that actually battered him(i didnt throw a punch btw) while the rest of the group who didnt do shit went the other way and all got nicked for it and put in jail for 3 days.The lads that did it owned up but the shithouse spanish police didnt do shit about it.
Whats worse is when the guardia civil finally came to nick the lads that did it,it was 5mins after our rep had told us all the spik was dead.They thought they were all goin down for murder Turns out the rep was chatting some bullshit and he wasnt dead.Suprise suprise he suddenly disappeared
Cut an already long story short everyone got back to manchester and one of the lads has only recently been cleared of any charges.
Just glad i went the other way
Whats worse is when the guardia civil finally came to nick the lads that did it,it was 5mins after our rep had told us all the spik was dead.They thought they were all goin down for murder
Turns out the rep was chatting some bullshit and he wasnt dead.Suprise suprise he suddenly disappeared Cut an already long story short everyone got back to manchester and one of the lads has only recently been cleared of any charges.
Just glad i went the other way
F
FredElliotsNipples
Guest
F
FredElliotsNipples
Guest
bttt
Me and 11 mates went to Torremolinos in 2000 and ended up staying in the same hotel as my uncle and auntie. One day around the pool myself and 4 mates were just chilling out with the rest of the lads out and about in the town, one of my mates needed a shit but he's one of these lads who will not take a shit in a public toilet so i decided to pick my uncles room key up give it him and told him be quick.
We usually bumped into my uncle and auntie at night but this night and the following day there were not to be seen out.
The next night i saw my uncle sat on his own pissed out of his head at the bar in the disco room in the hotel, so i went over to check if all was ok.
He went on to tell me that when he got back to his room with my auntie there was a porno mag opened up on the centre page with sun tan lotion squirted all over the centre pages of this women with her fanny out and the cream was also all over the sheets and floor . My auntie went mad calling him a pervert and a filthy bastard. She then packed her case and fucked off home!! No word of a fucking lie leaving my uncle on his own!! What a complete bitch and what an over reaction.
I soon realised what my mate had done but to this day we havent told my uncle, he stayed and enjoyed the rest of his holiday with us.
Me and 11 mates went to Torremolinos in 2000 and ended up staying in the same hotel as my uncle and auntie. One day around the pool myself and 4 mates were just chilling out with the rest of the lads out and about in the town, one of my mates needed a shit but he's one of these lads who will not take a shit in a public toilet so i decided to pick my uncles room key up give it him and told him be quick.
We usually bumped into my uncle and auntie at night but this night and the following day there were not to be seen out.
The next night i saw my uncle sat on his own pissed out of his head at the bar in the disco room in the hotel, so i went over to check if all was ok.
He went on to tell me that when he got back to his room with my auntie there was a porno mag opened up on the centre page with sun tan lotion squirted all over the centre pages of this women with her fanny out and the cream was also all over the sheets and floor
. My auntie went mad calling him a pervert and a filthy bastard. She then packed her case and fucked off home!! No word of a fucking lie leaving my uncle on his own!! What a complete bitch and what an over reaction. I soon realised what my mate had done but to this day we havent told my uncle, he stayed and enjoyed the rest of his holiday with us.
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Ole Van Smudge
Guest
Was on a stag do in Lloret De Mar a few weeks back........
Anyway one morning I went to wake the lads up & one was missing. He then came in the room five minutes later wearing just his boxers. I said "oh yes! you get your end away I assume lad? But where are your clothes?". He then told me that he was leathered & ended up crashing in a room with a couple of gay blokes! He could not remember anything happening, but said he thought he had been "tampered with " because his boxer buttons were undone, & he never does that for a piss even when he's sober!
Anyway one morning I went to wake the lads up & one was missing. He then came in the room five minutes later wearing just his boxers. I said "oh yes! you get your end away I assume lad? But where are your clothes?". He then told me that he was leathered & ended up crashing in a room with a couple of gay blokes! He could not remember anything happening, but said he thought he had been "tampered with
" because his boxer buttons were undone, & he never does that for a piss even when he's sober!
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Red D
Guest
Benidorm, me and my mate both about 17 at the time.
We had a flight about 2am and were kicked out of the hotel about 11am as usual and left to hang around all day and night bored shitless waiting for the coach to the airport.
about 10pm we were sat by the pool having a beer, nobody else there when these bottles start flying down at us from the new (scouse) arrivals balcony a few floors above, for the next half an hour or so they're causing havoc and generally acting like scouse cunts do abroad.
Later on my mate goes for a piss in the pool changing rooms and comes back out dressed in all this new gear, which one of the daft scouse cunts had left in his case in the changing room. All their lovely new holiday clothes.
The decent stuff I took pictures of my mate in and he kept, leaving them with only the film from their camera as a reminder. In fact, the camera went in the pool, along with scouse passport, clothes duds etc, the other half of the stuff got ripped to bits.
It was proper scouse clobber as well!!
Out scoused the scousers
We had a flight about 2am and were kicked out of the hotel about 11am as usual and left to hang around all day and night bored shitless waiting for the coach to the airport.
about 10pm we were sat by the pool having a beer, nobody else there when these bottles start flying down at us from the new (scouse) arrivals balcony a few floors above, for the next half an hour or so they're causing havoc and generally acting like scouse cunts do abroad.
Later on my mate goes for a piss in the pool changing rooms and comes back out dressed in all this new gear, which one of the daft scouse cunts had left in his case in the changing room. All their lovely new holiday clothes.
The decent stuff I took pictures of my mate in and he kept, leaving them with only the film from their camera as a reminder. In fact, the camera went in the pool, along with scouse passport, clothes duds etc, the other half of the stuff got ripped to bits.
It was proper scouse clobber as well!!
Out scoused the scousers