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CLASSIC: Someone's stuck in the lift at work

It's been a while since Throw posted something, maybe there've been more developments.
 
woody handcock said:
i was once moving some office furniture from one floor to another (15 floors block)..it was a small desk, chair coat stand and a notice board.....large lift.

i set it up to look like an office and fucked about for about half an hour going up n down......until security fucked me off

every time it stopped at a floor and the doors opened id say " ah come into my office, ive been expecting you" :D
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:D :D :D
That's hilarious
 
Billy Baroo said:
it's triggerhappy tv from about 7 years ago
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it may well be...only i did it in an office block in manchester in the late 80s early 90s....on Quay Street...Ashley House i think its called.
 
Best thread on here for some time.

Tears rolling trying not to laugh out loud in the office :D :D

Got another song suggestion.

The Only Way is UP :D
 
He's out!

The boys from schindlers elevators came to the rescue.


When he came through the door all the birds started clapping! Fucking idiots.


He's having a cup of tea on the sofa now. White as a sheet and sweating a bit.



All the women fussing round him, all the lads taking the piss.

He's gonna milk this for a while I think.
 
just tell everyone to go really silent, simple but effective he'll think everyone has gone home, forgotten about him and he'll hang himself using the light fitting.
 
Throw said:
The boys from schindlers elevators came to the rescue.


When he came through the door all the birds started clapping! Fucking idiots.


He's having a cup of tea on the sofa now. White as a sheet and sweating a bit.



All the women fussing round him, all the lads taking the piss.

He's gonna milk this for a while I think.
Click to expand...

tell him, bigMikeA thinks you sound like a cunt you soft bastard, get off your arse go for a run and you might not sweat so profusely next time.
 
Throw said:
The boys from schindlers elevators came to the rescue.


When he came through the door all the birds started clapping! Fucking idiots.


He's having a cup of tea on the sofa now. White as a sheet and sweating a bit.



All the women fussing round him, all the lads taking the piss.

He's gonna milk this for a while I think.
Click to expand...

Has he pissed his trousers?
 
Throw said:
The boys from schindlers elevators came to the rescue.


When he came through the door all the birds started clapping! Fucking idiots.


He's having a cup of tea on the sofa now. White as a sheet and sweating a bit.



All the women fussing round him, all the lads taking the piss.

He's gonna milk this for a while I think.
Click to expand...


So its a schindlers lift?

There'll be a film about this soon
 
Throw said:
The boys from schindlers elevators came to the rescue.


When he came through the door all the birds started clapping! Fucking idiots.


He's having a cup of tea on the sofa now. White as a sheet and sweating a bit.



All the women fussing round him, all the lads taking the piss.

He's gonna milk this for a while I think.
Click to expand...



schindlers lifts :D

bit like an Otis lift in Reading
 
Throw said:
The boys from schindlers elevators came to the rescue.


When he came through the door all the birds started clapping! Fucking idiots.


He's having a cup of tea on the sofa now. White as a sheet and sweating a bit.



All the women fussing round him, all the lads taking the piss.

He's gonna milk this for a while I think.
Click to expand...

In my head its the guy from the office who dressed up as Ali G
 
a top quality thread.

had to exit the thread before because i was laughing out loud and getting funny looks in the office.

any chance of getting him on here for a Q & A session when he comes out?
 
schindlers lifts, hahahahaha :D:D:D
 
keith640.jpg
 
Lock yourself in the janitor's closet, then start freaking out that you can't get ou and pleading for Schindler's Closet to come rescue you.
 
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The lift near my office breaks practically every day. We can often hear the people shouting and banging on the wall as we walk past. It's quite amusing actually.
 
top quality, about the only thing ive ever had fun doin at work is tryin to know the paper cups out of place below the coffee machine before the water comes out wiv a paper ball

hit the target once and as the guy tried to put it back in place the water came out and scolded his hand :D
 
Like others have already said, this thread was top quality! :D :D

I was getting into massive fits of laughter reading it! :o :eek:
 
youve got to

loonofmufc said:
Someone at my old work was stuck in a lift on the second floor. It eventually fell to the basement, where the impact shattered his spine and was eventually awarded over a million quid in compo but is permanently in a wheelchair nowadays
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yell this vital new information down the lift-shaft to him :D :D
 
He's gone home


Poor lamb.


Got a bit mardy at the end when someone asked if he'd like us to sing him a song

"I'd like to see how you'd have coped with that!"
 
was in the czech republic last week and 2 of my mates got stuck in the lift in the hotel we were staying in, soooooo funny!
 
Throw said:
He's gone home


Poor lamb.


Got a bit mardy at the end when someone asked if he'd like us to sing him a song

"I'd like to see how you'd have coped with that!"
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:D :D what a wanker....replace his office chair with one of these for tomorrow.....

pintoy_wooden_dolls_high_chair.jpg
 
Fantastic. Gonna save this story for future fits of laughter.
 
I once got stuck in a lift in the pyramid building in stockport. They have a hand operated crank that they use to manually move the lift up when it gets stuck, took about 30 minutes to crank me to the next floor. Unfortunately, I didn't have any woman friggin themselves off for me and didn't get to go home early. The worst thing is that the emergency telephone was linked to the buildings speaker system so everyone in the building could hear everything we were saying down the phone!
 
Professor said:
If films are anything to go by, you need to go to the top floor, jimmy the elevator doors open, grapple down the wire, open the top panel of the elevator, sling him over your shoulder and say something clever. "Mind if I hang out with you?" Or something like that.
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i cant reaD ANYMORE thats just too fucking funny :D :D :D
 
barcelona26051999 said:
I once got stuck in a lift in the pyramid building in stockport. They have a hand operated crank that they use to manually move the lift up when it gets stuck, took about 30 minutes to crank me to the next floor. Unfortunately, I didn't have any woman friggin themselves off for me and didn't get to go home early. The worst thing is that the emergency telephone was linked to the buildings speaker system so everyone in the building could hear everything we were saying down the phone!
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I nearly got stuck in a lift at a party in a community centre near Wigan. I tried to open the doors while it was moving so I could look at the bricks and stuff go past. Turned out that the lift stops when you prise the doors open. started working when I pushed them together again though.

That was a close one.
 
Funky Chicken said:
I nearly got stuck in a lift at a party in a community centre near Wigan. I tried to open the doors while it was moving so I could look at the bricks and stuff go past. Turned out that the lift stops when you prise the doors open. started working when I pushed them together again though.

That was a close one.
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ffs you wanted to look at the bricks:eek:
 
every1s laffin but i dont fink its dat funny
 
ok, where's everyone getting these new smilies from? :(
 
Righty-ho.

Here's my epic "stuck in a lift" story.


It's a pal's stag-do a couple of years back. Nothing debauched - a bunch of flabby thirty-somethings drinking cocktails in a fairly elegant hotel bar before heading off to some bling-infested club.


The time comes to move on. I'm at the back of the pack, and I see them all pile into a tiny lift. I look at this bunch of lardy wankers bursting out of their Burtons suits (I myself am, at the time, a skinny wanker in a Hugo Boss knock-off), and say, "Never mind chaps, I'll get the next one."


"Get in, you cunt", etc, etc. I get in. The button is pressed. Down we go. For two-and-a-half seconds. At which point the overloaded lift shudders to a halt between floors.


I'm next to the intercom, so I buzz for help. Long silence. Then we hear the voice of a hotel receptionist. "Hello. Is there a problem?" The fattest of the wankers leans into the intercom grille - crushing several of our companions in the process, and folding me into human origami - and sarcastically intones in his Birmingham accent, "Naow, luv, everything's fine, we're just calling you for the fun of it."


The intercom goes dead.


Nice going. Take the piss out of the only person who knows we're here. I contact her again and talk her around. After letting us stew for a while, she sends someone to get the doors open. We pile out as if released from a vacuum pack of bad cologne and blubber.


We proceed to the club, where the fat Brummie redeems himself by completely convincing a crew of tarty but tasty wannabe footballers' wives-types that we - a clutch of useless, breathless, past-our-sell-by-date, fat fucks - are in fact a Premiership side out on the piss on a team-building exercise.


"Really!" says one of them, her eyes lighting up like a fruit machine hitting the jackpot. "What club?"


And here he delivers his masterstroke. The only plausible answer he possibly could give.


"Manchester City," he replies.
 
Fucking 5 star thread, wish Id been on this as the posts were going on :D

Still laughed out at heaps of it, tell him theres a monkey on the way down with a snadwich strapped to its back :D :D
 
absolutely fantastic :D :D
 
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