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CLASSIC: Someone's stuck in the lift at work

Your Pimp Daddy said:
No, he can't work out where the doors open...he is Irish after all.
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Fecking stuck sod. Doesn`t he know that the magic man will open the doors. The magic man sees people walking up to the doors and opens them for them. This negates the necessity for the individual walking towards the door to use any human intervention.

I like those magic men.
 
believe said:
Last year in between jobs i did some agency work driving for DHL. One day i was delivering around moss side and had one drop at heron house. it was on the 17th/18th floor so i got in the lift and there was a bloke behind me who had left someone in his flat and was coming back down. when i got to the floor i wanted i got out and he said he would only be a minute and would stop for me on the way back down and wait. i dropp ed off the parcel and the bloke was there just as he said and there were also 2 young scallywags with him. the doors closed and the lift went down about 6 foot and one of these young dickheads jumped up and down and the lift stopped. hardy fucking har you would have thought. press the button and off we go. no chance. the fucking lights went out, none of the buttons worked and that was it we was stuck. this older bloke started shouting to get peoples attention and the other 2 lads were getting agitated to fuck. why? they was on their way to get a fix thats fucking why. how do i know this? because they told me!! i started shitting it a bit thinking these lads are gonna start going fucking mental any minute now. and they did. screaming, kicking and punching the walls. fucking hell you've never seen out like it. i just stood in the far corner trying not to make eye contact and this older bloke is just giggling. anyway we managed to get hold of someone and they said they had phoned the fire brigade. 2 hours went by of kicking, screaming etc etc and this fucking nutter of an old bloke telling fucking stupid jokes badly. thinking thins couldn't get any worse this old bloke stops telling jokes and says to all 3 of us "i tell you what'd be funny. why don't we all get our dicks out and wank each other off?!!"" I shit you not. I fucking froze solid. i honestly thought i was going to get bummed. no less than 10-15 seconds after he said it we heard a voice "you alright lads its the fire brigade" i nearly cried. when they jemmied the door open and lifted us out i nearly hugged and kissed every fucking one of em.

i nver used the lift there again.
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:eek: dont blame ya

I hate the fucking things always use the stairs




as i know if i got stuck in one id brick it
 
this made me piss me pants:o





ha ha ha fooking top:D :D :D
 
:D
 
fucking hell lads. I thought this thread had hit the ground.

Who brought it back up to the top?
 
Lets get it stickied while we can (and i don't mean believe's lift experience either!)
 
bttt - can you tell its my favourite thread?
 
classic

:D :D
 
fucking hell long time no see for this one...its not as good now its not actually happening as we type :p
 
mufc treble 99 said:
fucking hell long time no see for this one...its not as good now its not actually happening as we type :p
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It's still funny though, reading it back again, I can remember sitting here for two day laughing at it.
 
bttft.

:D
 
If you were stuck in a lift - who would you most want as your lift partner ?

For me - my girlfriend, or Kirsty Gallagher - close call....
 
jennifer ellison
nft
 
Red Mill said:
If you were stuck in a lift - who would you most want as your lift partner ?

For me - my girlfriend, or Kirsty Gallagher - close call....
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Helen Mirren

nft :D ;)
 
As were reminiscing.
 
woody handcock said:
i was once moving some office furniture from one floor to another (15 floors block)..it was a small desk, chair coat stand and a notice board.....large lift.

i set it up to look like an office and fucked about for about half an hour going up n down......until security fucked me off

every time it stopped at a floor and the doors opened id say " ah come into my office, ive been expecting you" :D
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Don't actually know if you did that or just making it up but its a funny!
:D :D
 
A lot of posters on this thread don't exist any more :(
 
:)
 
Bttt :D
 
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