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CLASSIC: Someone's stuck in the lift at work

jem said:
he has a lift at home? I'm impressed! not really, it's probably some depressing 1960s council block.
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you should see his sink!
 
Billy Baroo said:
you should see his sink!
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Now we're talking.




Update. Apparently he didn't sleep well and he's going to try and make it in this afternoon.

I can't keep running upstairs to check on developments though.
 
what a gaylord.. In fact that might be my best working day ever! stuck in a lift not doing any work. id just have a kip....ps I can put spaces in with cut n paste but im sure to develop RSS.
 
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Silv said:
what a gaylord.. ps I can put spaces in with cut n paste but im sure to develop RSS
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where can i obtain the feed?
 
just bought a submarine
 
What a cunt.

You should have called John McClane and had him blow up the building for some reason.
 
Can't believe I missed this

Throw said:
There's a couple of girls talking to him at the moment.

"Do you want us to sing you a song?" she's just asked.
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How about "Shaft!"?
 
Throw said:
Now we're talking.




Update. Apparently he didn't sleep well and he's going to try and make it in this afternoon.

I can't keep running upstairs to check on developments though.
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take the lift then you lazy cunt!
 
Last year in between jobs i did some agency work driving for DHL. One day i was delivering around moss side and had one drop at heron house. it was on the 17th/18th floor so i got in the lift and there was a bloke behind me who had left someone in his flat and was coming back down. when i got to the floor i wanted i got out and he said he would only be a minute and would stop for me on the way back down and wait. i dropp ed off the parcel and the bloke was there just as he said and there were also 2 young scallywags with him. the doors closed and the lift went down about 6 foot and one of these young dickheads jumped up and down and the lift stopped. hardy fucking har you would have thought. press the button and off we go. no chance. the fucking lights went out, none of the buttons worked and that was it we was stuck. this older bloke started shouting to get peoples attention and the other 2 lads were getting agitated to fuck. why? they was on their way to get a fix thats fucking why. how do i know this? because they told me!! i started shitting it a bit thinking these lads are gonna start going fucking mental any minute now. and they did. screaming, kicking and punching the walls. fucking hell you've never seen out like it. i just stood in the far corner trying not to make eye contact and this older bloke is just giggling. anyway we managed to get hold of someone and they said they had phoned the fire brigade. 2 hours went by of kicking, screaming etc etc and this fucking nutter of an old bloke telling fucking stupid jokes badly. thinking thins couldn't get any worse this old bloke stops telling jokes and says to all 3 of us "i tell you what'd be funny. why don't we all get our dicks out and wank each other off?!!"" I shit you not. I fucking froze solid. i honestly thought i was going to get bummed. no less than 10-15 seconds after he said it we heard a voice "you alright lads its the fire brigade" i nearly cried. when they jemmied the door open and lifted us out i nearly hugged and kissed every fucking one of em.

i nver used the lift there again.
 
I once had a shit in a lift when I was a paper boy. Disgusting I know, but it was either that or fill my y-fronts.

The lift I used was in an old peoples home, and for your information, I wiped my arse using someones Liverpool Echo.
 
believe said:
Last year in between jobs i did some agency work driving for DHL. One day i was delivering around moss side and had one drop at heron house. it was on the 17th/18th floor so i got in the lift and there was a bloke behind me who had left someone in his flat and was coming back down. when i got to the floor i wanted i got out and he said he would only be a minute and would stop for me on the way back down and wait. i dropp ed off the parcel and the bloke was there just as he said and there were also 2 young scallywags with him. the doors closed and the lift went down about 6 foot and one of these young dickheads jumped up and down and the lift stopped. hardy fucking har you would have thought. press the button and off we go. no chance. the fucking lights went out, none of the buttons worked and that was it we was stuck. this older bloke started shouting to get peoples attention and the other 2 lads were getting agitated to fuck. why? they was on their way to get a fix thats fucking why. how do i know this? because they told me!! i started shitting it a bit thinking these lads are gonna start going fucking mental any minute now. and they did. screaming, kicking and punching the walls. fucking hell you've never seen out like it. i just stood in the far corner trying not to make eye contact and this older bloke is just giggling. anyway we managed to get hold of someone and they said they had phoned the fire brigade. 2 hours went by of kicking, screaming etc etc and this fucking nutter of an old bloke telling fucking stupid jokes badly. thinking thins couldn't get any worse this old bloke stops telling jokes and says to all 3 of us "i tell you what'd be funny. why don't we all get our dicks out and wank each other off?!!"" I shit you not. I fucking froze solid. i honestly thought i was going to get bummed. no less than 10-15 seconds after he said it we heard a voice "you alright lads its the fire brigade" i nearly cried. when they jemmied the door open and lifted us out i nearly hugged and kissed every fucking one of em.

i nver used the lift there again.
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that's not good, is it?
 
What a load of crap. 3 storey buildings do not have lifts.
 
think of people in wheelchairs, stanna stairlifts arent always practical
 
bttt :D
 
jimmy small said:
What a load of crap. 3 storey buildings do not have lifts.
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I work in a 3 story building and it has a lift.

In my last job I worked in a 2 story building and it had a lift.

That's all.
 
red red robbo said:
I work in a 3 story building and it has a lift.

In my last job I worked in a 2 story building and it had a lift.

That's all.
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i work from home and have a bungalow .i also have a lift :D
 
any chance of a sly pic of the said guy Throw? :D
 
jimmy small said:
Not having it
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Two story building here - it has a lift.

Fucking good job too - got to shift large items to the second floor all the time.
 
some old folks homes that have just got a ground and a first floor have got a lift......


the cheaper ones use a catapult :eek:
 
woody handcock said:
some old folks homes that have just got a ground and a first floor have got a lift......


the cheaper ones use a catapult :eek:
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yeh but old folks are notoriously lazy
 
Is the person who is stuck Irish?

Or did a paddy install the lift?
 
irwin4ever said:
Is the person who is stuck Irish?

Or did a paddy install the lift?
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Both.

The Paddy that installed the lift is the same Paddy that got stuck in it.
 
And did he leave the key inside?
 
its been over three weeks now, is he still in there?
 
was stuck in a lift with a bunch of united fans on that glazer flashmob :D
 
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